I assure myself that it’s okay for fellows who are either family-less or whose partners don’t care a hoot about togetherness after sunset.
Sitting in the far corner of the counter with my buddy William a.k.a Wizo, I could see all the activities in this Night Club.
As I was swollen deep in my thoughts ignoring the facts that it was late, and pretend that everything was fine I saw a pregnant women seated on a stool in the next counter.
For me and my buddy wizo it’s okay but then how about this lady who is so expectant it wouldn’t surprise anyone if she were to go into labour any moment now!
But who are you to wonder I finally asked myself, for surely she must know what she’s doing.
I, however, admire her stoic nature… her easygoing demeanor in the face of some already drunk men making fun of her presence in the nightclub in her condition.
“Men can be very stupid,” she says when a guy taunts her that she should be at home taking care of her pregnancy, “whoever told you that being pregnant is an illness?”
“How about the safety of your unborn child; don’t you fear for the same?” says the concerned guy.
“Leave me alone; just buy me a drink if you truly care and don’t lecture me about the unborn child because it’s not yours!”
I couldn’t strait up my thoughts, I heard Wizo talking “Does this sound a bit odd to you? Well, believe me there are definitely types of women out there you should never, ever, EVER marry.” His he refereeing to this woman I thought to myself with ought stop wondering.
They will most likely ruin your life and your perception of women forever. Trying to get back into conversation I asked, “Then how can I know when my princess arrives?”
After taking grip of a beer strait from the bottle he look strait in my eyes and said, “Now this doesn’t mean you should carry a checklist around with you (unless you’re very stealthy) or believe all women will be terrible to you, but be cautious”.
The first and probably most common type of woman you should never marry is the ever popular “Gold Digger.” You can spot this money grubber a mile away, but in case you have been fooled before, here are a few tips to know if she’s digging for gold.
· Does she seem to make everything about money?
· Does she always seem to light up when something expensive is in front of her?
· Does she ask a lot about how much money you make?
· Does she find herself worth in the most expensive shoes, clothes, food etc?
If any of those were answered yes, then you’ve got a gold digger on your hands and you should put your wallet away before she scans your credit cards.
Ah… well, I didn’t have an answer for that, so I say nothing in response. Instead, I “beg” Merry the counter to give us another round of beer.
Wizo continues with his lecture, the second well known type of woman you should never marry would be the “Overly Feminine Feminist.”
These are the woman power men hating non-shaving ladies you’ve probably seen protesting women’s rights all around the country.
Now before a million women get all up in arms and decide to make a men hating rally about this, you should know that feminism is NOT bad, but it does have its limits.
If a woman gets mad because you open a door for her or pull out a chair at a nice restaurant because “she can do it herself” then, well, let that door smack her in the face a couple times while you’re NOT holding it open for her and see how she feels about that.
If you were to marry a woman like this your life would end up a living hell.
Everything you did would be criticized and somehow related to oppressing women.
You will be simply miserable, so if you find a feminist that’s just TOO into the woman’s movement, just walk away my friend. Just walk away.
The third type of woman you should definitely never marry is the “Overly Sensitive.”
We all know women are more sensitive than men and for the most part we enjoy that, but if every little thing becomes some kind of fight because you hurt her feelings, then you’re going to have to walk on egg shells forever.
We enjoy comforting women when they ACTUALLY need it, however if every single time you “seem to have a tone in your voice” she bursts into tears and runs into the bedroom a mess, we honestly don’t care anymore.
This type of woman will seem great at first because she will need you and want you around a lot and really be into you. That’s all fine and dandy until she’s cries more than a 40 year old redneck on his second case of beer.
“So Wizo, how come you know a lot about them and a big admirer of ladies, still not married?” that’s what I manage to ask?
“I know there are good women out there, so I keep my eyes open, but for you I advice to stay weary”. He concluded.
The night was dying on me. Having been given the other thing to think about I call out laud to Merry the counter, to give us another beer – my fourth and last, which I drank fast and go home.